I reluctantly called my RE's office this week, because after my D&C I was told to give them a call in 2 weeks if I hadn't heard anything. They did a CVS and tested the fetal tissue, and karyotyped. The CVS was done b/c my RE was adamant we have it done, even though two MFM's said it's going to be normal. But Dr. P my RE really really really wanted it done so it was.
Well guess what? It was a genetically normal girl. What the fuck does this tell us? Nothing that's what. I'm normal disgustingly normal. Dear God how I wish something was wrong at least then we could put a label on it. Create a plan on how to treat it, instead we get unexplained RPL.
I feel so defeated, so sad, so tired, my chest feels tight and breathing is a battle.
I am waiting to hear back from Dr. P and then I guess we will discuss our options. From all my previous test results I can't tell that I have been tested for immunologic problems specifically NK cells. Not sure what difference this makes in the end.
My doctors are good and caring people, I thought Dr.P might cry at my d&c and my MFM Dr. D. was simply beautiful throughout this mess. I am lucky to have caring medical professionals.
I looked at surrogacy websites yesterday to get a feel for the potential cost, which looks to be close to or even more than adoption. Truly I just don't know how I feel about any of it. Even though, I know I don't have to make decisions right now, there is also this underlying sense of urgency. We're not getting any younger, DH's parents are in their 70's now. These are silly things but still weigh heavily on my mind. What does it mean if we just stop?