About Me

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North Carolina, United States
I'm a 36yr old, wife, wannabe mom, horticulturalist, halfass knitter, and sometimes runner, searching for my grace

Sunday, August 28, 2011


We are adjusting to our new hospital life. I'm getting the routine of the nurse shifts and learning who I like and who I could do without. Dr.T has come to see me everyday. That has really impressed me. Yesterday was his day off and he still came by. It was the first time we have seen him in street clothes instead of scrubs. They hook me up to the monitors three times a day to check on contractions, and the baby's heartbeat. Speaking of the baby we decided to give out her name, because so many people are asking and praying for her. Drum roll please...... Faith Elizabeth.. I've been calling her Faith for a while but now it is official. It's taken a huge amount of faith to get this far, so I think it's appropriate. So Faith looks awesome on the monitors, she is a mover and a shaker. Sometimes they have to hunt around to get her heartbeat and keep it on the monitor. When she is on the monitor and doing her thing it sounds like she is building something with saws and hammers because of all the static she creates. The nurses all say this means she is really healthy and strong. The procardia has really slowed the contractions. Dr. T says he might take me off of it and see how things go. That would be good, because it gives me a headache and makes my face flush. However I would rather have those things than contractions anyway. I have my cervix check tomorrow. I'm hoping for stable news. I also found out Dr.D who was my MFM during my last m/c has moved to this hospital and may be one of the doctors I see tomorrow. I really like her and it will be good to see a familiar face and one who is aware of our history. My history continues to haunt me. The chaplain and the social worker came to talk to me and of course they brought up my history of loss. I cannot go through that without just melting into tears, which made them put red flags up about depression and anxiety. Understandably I know that is a concern and I am practicing all my techniques to keep that at bay. Dr. T talked to me about antidepressants and I told him I really wanted to try to get to post partum before considering them. He told me to take it day by day and that I had already given up so much for this baby, my sanity did not need to be one of them.

So many people have called and come to visit. JJ came and I know that was hard for her to come back to this place where she spent some time. I really appreciated her coming though and sharing her experience of hospital bed rest and having Oliver with her as a great outcome. And she brought me a decaf vanilla latte from Starbucks that was heavenly. Thank you JJ.

I want to thank everyone for the prayers and positive energy being sent our way. It means so much and I believe it is helping keep Faith right where she needs to be.
26 weeks today! Goal is 28 weeks or more so we are making it one day at a time.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


Yesterday I was admitted to the hospital. My cervix has funneled to .7cm, baby is head down and I'm having contractions. They gave me my first round of steroids and I will get the second round in about an hour. After a very restless sleepless night they decided to put me on procardia to slow down the contractions. Dr. T. says he doesn't think I'm going to go into labor but we don't need the added stress from the contractions. The NICU doctor came to see me last night to talk about what will happen if we deliver this early. He had better survivability stats than I had read for 25 weeeks 4 days. Of course everything is a lot better if we make it to 28 weeks or more. DH is freaking out and I am having to be the strong one. Brave faces everyone.

Friday, August 19, 2011

28 days

This week has sucked. Monday was my weekly cervix check with the fFN test. My fFN results were negative which is good. That means I have a 1% chance of going into labor this week. My cervix has now funneled to 1.1cm .8cm with pressure. That is not good. Dr.T says if it gets down to .5cm or dilates at all we go to hospital bed rest. In some ways I think just put me in the hospital because they would monitor me and if anything happens I am already there. I live an hour away from the hospital and that is a little concerning. But I also know that the hospital is stressful and not very restful, and it's important for me to be calm and rested. That took measurements of the baby and she is right on target for 24 weeks in fact a little big. She weighs 1lb 9oz and Dr. Google told me that is the average weight for 26 weeks gestation. So good news there if she comes early. Right now our main goal is to make it to 28 weeks. Tomorrow is 25 weeks so just 21 more days.

I'm still a little confused on my contractions but it's different than just kicks. All my stomach muscles contract, sort of like they are balling up. It doesn't hurt but it's not comfortable either. I may be having more than I think it's hard for me to discern. On Tuesday when I go back for my check I'm going to ask them about hooking me up to one of those machines to check on them.

I will try to post more pictures soon.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

3 weeks down

21 days in bed 86 more to go, but who's counting?

This week my cervix measured the same Yay! I've been having contractions Boo! But only like 5-6 contractions a day. Dr. T said he would be worried if I had 3-4 an hour. So there's that. Next week he will start doing the FFN test. This tests the secretions on the cervix and if it's positive it means I might go into labor in the next 2 weeks, if it's negative it means I'm highly unlikely to go into labor in the next two weeks. Let's pray for negative. I will be 24 weeks on Saturday which makes baby girl officially a viable player. Of course the odds are not great but better than they were two weeks ago. I asked Dr. T what he thought the odds were of her coming extra early and he said he didn't know it really was a crap shoot. Especially because this is my first baby to make it out of the first trimester.

I ordered a Nook and I cannot wait for it to get here. I read the first book in the Hunger Games Series love love love it. I finished in two days, now I'm desperate to read the next one.

Stanley the kitten is my bed rest companion, keeping me company throughout the day.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Two Weeks Bed Rest Completed

Yesterday's appointment had me rattled. My cervix measured 2mm shorter. Dr. T still says no to cerclage and next week will be too late. I'm wondering if I should have pushed harder to have it done. But he kept talking about the risks and I do trust him. Bed rest is hard. There is just no way around it. Sure the first couple days are nice, but then you just want to do something.

Baby still looks good, she is head down this week right near my cervix. There is plenty of fluid and everything looks great except my stupid cervix. I went to acupuncture right after my OB appointment, sobbed with my acupuncturist H and she did some treatment for anxiety this time with moxa. The moxa is needles on fire (literally) she burned some of my hair, but I did feel more relaxed when I got home.

We are supposed to take the childbirth class Oct.1, and asked DR. T if I am still pregnant then can I go. He was all let's see you would be 31 weeks, yeah if you're still pregnant I say you can go. Besides I'm sure they will refund your money if you've already had the baby.

That scares me. What if I have this baby before 31 weeks, before 36 weeks really. I've tried to learn a little about micro preemies and what to expect. Of course I don't need to scare myself, but I need to know what could happen. I joined sidelines.org and that is good support. I'm 22w4d today. We've got a long road in front of us.