About Me

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North Carolina, United States
I'm a 36yr old, wife, wannabe mom, horticulturalist, halfass knitter, and sometimes runner, searching for my grace

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

2011 better me please?

Oh Internet, it has been a rough holiday. Gluten free is NOT going well. In fact it's not really going at all. I did not get to see my family and my new niece over Christmas b/c of snow. I cried all day Christmas because we should have children to celebrate with but we don't because they died. So I've been wallowing in my woe and really I need to get over it. My BFF had her baby and I found out on face.book. More woe. Cutting back on caffeine is giving me headaches. WHAH WHAH WHAH woe is me.

OK so in effort to shake my doldrums I wrote out my goals and challenges for 2011. I even categorized them.

Improve communication w/DH
Express my feelings better
Demand respect within our marriage
Talk about the drinking
Find the Fun again

Repair friendship w/BFF
Visit friends more often
Have people/friends over to our house
Visit Brother
Be a part of nieces lives

work on expressing and feeling my emotions
tell people when they hurt my feelings
relaxation techniques

go gluten-free for at least 3 mos
run 1000 miles total in 2011
wear a bikini and feel good about it

keep a grace journal, and write everyday
officially join the church and get active
find and go to an adoption workshop
grow a bigger garden
work on getting farm plan going

Friday, December 10, 2010


Oh man JJ nominated me for an award like forever ago and I am just now getting to it. Thank you JJ, sorry I am a slacker.
So here's rules for the award:
~Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award.
~Share 7 things about yourself.
~Pass the award along to 7 other bloggers who you recently discovered and think are fabulous.

1. I finally stopped biting my nails about 2 years ago, but sometimes under duress I relapse.

2. I took piano lessons for 8 years and I hate playing the piano.

3. I take my seatbelt off when I get about a 1/2 mile from my house.

4. I'm pretty klutzy, I always have bruises on my legs or arms, from running into things.

5. I can't sew for shit. Seriously I almost failed Home Ec in the 7th grade. My guitar pillow looks like some kind of abomination. My mom kept it because it made her laugh so hard (my mom used to make all my clothes so obviously I did not get that skill). Sewing a button is so hard for me and always looks like shit. Forget about mending.

6. I'm a sucker for teeny bopper tv shows like g.oss.ip girl, vam.pi.re di.aries, 90210.

7. Instead of a Christmas tree this year I put lights and few decorations on my rubber tree plant.

Friday, December 3, 2010

end of the year race

So I really sucked at blogging each day of the month. I enjoyed what I did do, and I'm going to try to blog more...(no really I am). I went back to the midwest over Thanksgiving for a fabulous wedding. I was slightly apprehensive before leaving because the town I grew up in brings out strong feelings in me. I either have a great time, or cry my way through it. My family doesn't live there anymore so I've only been back over the last seven years a handful of times. All of my dear friends from HS were there and I was nervous about being around some of them b/c they are fertile and there would lots of kids. Several kids I'd never met before. Ultimately it was great we fell right back to our giggling selves and for a little while I did not think about it. I forget how good it feels to be surrounded by these strong beautiful women who mean so much to me. Friends like that are hard to come by.

During the wedding one of the promises was "to take care of other people's children". I really like that and it touched my heart. My DH has put adoption back on the table. This is a small miracle because before he felt he just couldn't do it. So we are exploring that option a little more while still looking at TTC in a couple months.

I had a consultation with a nutritionist yesterday. She recommended a wheat/gluten free diet. Also no coffee (the horror). Her reasoning made sense to me, if my m/c are caused by my immune system than it makes sense to remove any possible allergens from my diet. She said one in three people have wheat allergies, but they may not know it. But geez o pete gluten is in everything. And I heart bread. This will not be easy. But all things in moderation and I will make an effort.

Since I got back on Sunday it has been nonstop running around. The month of December is always hard because I have end of the year reports that must be completed by the 17th b/c the University shuts down for the last two weeks of the year. Our office keeps on running but we have to turn everything in. Meanwhile this is also the time of year when my clients have time on their hands so I am teaching many workshops. Not to mention x-mas shopping and decorating and the endless parties. I'm going to a conference today and I was so excited to learn I didn't need to be there until 1pm. So I can do some laundry, run and blog. I want to stop and savor the season, and make time for me. As always I struggle for balance. Ok laundry is ready to be hung out to dry.