About Me

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North Carolina, United States
I'm a 36yr old, wife, wannabe mom, horticulturalist, halfass knitter, and sometimes runner, searching for my grace

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Last Week

Yesterday began my last official week of bed rest. Thank the Lord! We are now 35weeks and 1 day pregnant. No one ever thought we'd make it this far. I've been promoted to moderate bed rest last week and so I have been doing light housekeeping and I go up and down stairs once a day. Next week I will go back to work. What? Yes next week I'm going back to work. I haven't driven a car in 15 weeks or stood up/ sat up for longer than 2 hours in 15 weeks and now I am going to work an 8 hour day and drive 30 minutes to and from work. I am crazy but that's how I roll. This week I am planning a massive grocery store trip after my doctor appointment Wed. and then trying to cook and freeze some meals for while I'm working and after Faith arrives. We have been living off food prepared by our church and meals my DH cooks. Bless his heart he has done a fabulous job, and I want to help out while I can. I have a feeling work will be hard on me and I won't want to cook when I get home.

We have our last u/s on Wed. A growth scan to see how ginormous Faith will be. I have read that these late u/s can be off as much as 2lbs either way. My hospital bag is packed. The car seat is in the car, we have diapers, wipes, blankets and clothes. I don't have breast pump or bottles yet, but I'm not worried about that. I'm still scared something will go horribly wrong but I'm trying hard to be prepared for things to go right.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

October 15th Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remeberence Day

I am the face of first trimester pregnancy loss. Six years ago on October 17th I suffered my first miscarriage at 10weeks. I was naive and innocent to believe all pregnancies ended in a take home baby. I was at an overnight work conference in the mountains when I started bleeding. I didn't know what to do. I was 3 hours away from my doctor. I went back into the conference and the look on my face told my colleague something was wrong. I had confided in her about our pregnancy but no one else. She quickly helped me gather our stuff and drove the 3 hours back to my town.

Along the way I called my OB and they really poo pooed my concerns, because I wasn't bleeding through a pad an hour. I begged them to see me and eventually they said if I could get there by 4:30 they would see me. I hauled ass across NC to get there. I really don't know how I held it together but somehow I did. When I got to the dr. she did a physical exam and then sent me over to the hospital for an u/s. I chose this OB b/c she had been my Gyno and had recently opened her own practice. No u/s machines and she was the only doctor. All red flags now, but I didn't know. At the hospital is where the anxiety really kicked in. They brought me up to the sonography waiting room before my husband could get there. I was really starting to freak out. Finally they did the ultrasound first they tried external which was stupid b/c I was only 10 weeks along, and then they brought out the transvaginal. I had no idea that this type of u/s would soon become a regular part of my life. The screen showed nothing. As ignorant as I was at that time, even I knew that was not good. Of course the technician wouldn't tell me anything but the look on her face said it all. They sent me home and said the doctor would call me later. Finally around 9pm that night she called to tell me I had had a miscarriage and not to worry because these things happen and I would have a baby soon. Two days later the real cramping and bleeding began and I passed the rest of the tissue.

Fast forward to present day and I have had six more miscarriages all between 8 and 10weeks and one ectopic pregnancies. I have been to four different OB/Gyn practices and five different RE practices. Three of my seven miscarriages were karyotyped and were found to be two girls and one boy. This is my ninth pregnancy and at 33weeks I am still scared, but more hopeful than ever that this baby girl Faith Elizabeth will come home with me. My seven angel babies are always with me in my heart. Tonight I will light a candle in memory of my children and yours.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


So here I am still pregnant and still on bed rest. I don't think Dr.T expected me to make it this far. So far we remain stable. I don't get u/s anymore at every visit. My next u/s will be at 36 weeks. Faith's heart rate is good and movement is crazy. So I don't mind no u/s and I certainly don't miss the dildo cam anyway. Six weeks will be the longest I've gone the whole pregnancy w/o an u/s though. Cervix is still closed and measuring 1.1cm. Dr.T says I'm a boring normal OB patient now. My fFN test was negative yesterday and that will be the last one we do. So Dr. T says I don't have to have a baby sitter all the time now. That's a relief, I would like a little of my independence back. At 34 we will be put on moderate bed rest and I will be allowed to move around the house more. I'm looking forward to being able to go upstairs and see the nursery in real life. At 36 we will stop all medication (procardia and prometrium) and I can go back to work full time. How weird will that be?

I went to a breast feeding class, and I feel a little more confident. Faith is head down and kicking the shit out of my ribs. The light at the end of the tunnel is finally visible. We are entering the safer window for delivery and less potential time in the NICU. Dr.T jokes about having to induce me at 41 weeks, ha ha not funny. Seriously I can't go that long.

I have pregnancy induced carpal tunnel syndrome. It's lots of fun. I have sexy wrist braces to wear at night. I'm wearing them now to get used to them. Last night I ripped them off in the middle of the night b/c I couldn't get comfortable, and then had numb fingers for the rest of the night. Only I could get carpal tunnel while on bed rest.

Sunday, October 2, 2011