Yesterday's appointment had me rattled. My cervix measured 2mm shorter. Dr. T still says no to cerclage and next week will be too late. I'm wondering if I should have pushed harder to have it done. But he kept talking about the risks and I do trust him. Bed rest is hard. There is just no way around it. Sure the first couple days are nice, but then you just want to do something.
Baby still looks good, she is head down this week right near my cervix. There is plenty of fluid and everything looks great except my stupid cervix. I went to acupuncture right after my OB appointment, sobbed with my acupuncturist H and she did some treatment for anxiety this time with moxa. The moxa is needles on fire (literally) she burned some of my hair, but I did feel more relaxed when I got home.
We are supposed to take the childbirth class Oct.1, and asked DR. T if I am still pregnant then can I go. He was all let's see you would be 31 weeks, yeah if you're still pregnant I say you can go. Besides I'm sure they will refund your money if you've already had the baby.
That scares me. What if I have this baby before 31 weeks, before 36 weeks really. I've tried to learn a little about micro preemies and what to expect. Of course I don't need to scare myself, but I need to know what could happen. I joined sidelines.org and that is good support. I'm 22w4d today. We've got a long road in front of us.
About Me
- amylynn
- North Carolina, United States
- I'm a 36yr old, wife, wannabe mom, horticulturalist, halfass knitter, and sometimes runner, searching for my grace
3 comments:
Not only are you doing a great job, you are doing everything it is in your power to do. Educating yourself about possibilities to come, while trying not to get ahead of yourself and letting emotions and negative thoughts run wild. Resting completely even though it is very hard. Getting treatment, staying monitored, communicating well with your caregivers.
You do have a long few weeks ahead, and I hope they are more on the long than the short side. I understand why you are feeling anxious and you have every right to be nervous about the outcome of this pregnancy. But never doubt that you have done all you could, are doing all you can, and made the best decisions at the time with the information you had. We all love that rearview mirror, full of second guesses and what-ifs. But you have to stay in the present now, in order to remain strong for the future. Looking back and wondering 'what if' will only sap your energy and strength. Don't give away your precious energy. Save it to get through each day, one at a time, and save it for welcoming your dear little one into the world.
My offers stands, for real!! Be glad to bring you some goodies--I know how hard bed rest is. Thinking of you lots! Email me if you need my cell # again :)
Yay for 2 weeks - even though I know it's hard, I hope you have many more weeks of bedrest ahead of you.
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