About Me

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North Carolina, United States
I'm a 36yr old, wife, wannabe mom, horticulturalist, halfass knitter, and sometimes runner, searching for my grace

Tuesday, September 8, 2009


I am worried I am pregnant again. I have taken 4 tests all negative, but it's cd32 and still no period. Shit...

My RE Dr. P wants to look at uterus again. Because maybe it's changed since the last time he looked at it? Another SHG for me yippee!! He said no to the immune testing.

I have a phone consultation with SIRM next week.

I am carrying around this grief in my heart, that makes me lay awake at night wondering if my heart will stop beating. Nothing takes the ache away. I know I am depressed and should seek therapy again. The thing is I don't want to talk about it. It hurts too much to speak, and it is easier to push it away. Although I know this is not healthy it's the best I can do for now.


Grad3 said...

I am glad to hear that you have made contact with SIRM. I hope that the appt. leaves you with hope.

Do what you need to do right now- you will change things when you are ready. Now just isn't right for and that's okay. As far as the pg thing... been there and 'shit' sums it up nicely. I hope that the next few days brings the news you desire. ~Warm Hugs~

Meg said...

Just want you to know I am thinking of you. You will know when you are ready to talk through some of this. Just pace yourself and allow yourself to grieve and fall a little.

I hope you get AF soon.