Opossum

DH says the baby looks like an opossum***. So that's our nickname. Opossum did great for the NT scan in that he/she flipped around and wiggled so much it took 4 trys for the tech to finally get Opossum in the right position to measure stuff. I was told to arrive with a full bladder and I thought it might burst before they could scan. When Opossum didn't cooperate she let me pee to my great relief. This was my first belly ultrasound. So unusual not to have to undress from the waist down. Everything came out OK, it looks like I have a 1/4500 chance of downs and a 1/7500 of spina bifida so that's a huge relief.

I did come up positive on part of the Toxoplasmosis test. Dr. T. said that meant I have been exposed to it at some time in my life, but not necessarily am I currently infected. So they are retesting in two weeks. That is a little stressful, but we haven't had a litter box in the house in over a year and that was when Oscar was strictly an inside kitten. I've had cats my whole life so I shouldn't be surprised that I have been exposed. But nonetheless its a little disconcerting. The other thing that happened during my pelvic exam is that Dr. T. said my cervix felt a little short, so I am to come back at 16 weeks for another ultrasound so they can measure my cervix. Last week in Chicago Dr.C. said my cervix looked great. So who knows. I am grateful Dr. T is concerned and keeping a close watch on my cervix, because next to miscarrying, my cervix is my biggest concern. I have had 4 d&c's and a septum resection so that is a lot of cervical manipulation. If I need a cerclage I want them to determine that sooner than later.

Dr. C has released me from her care, I will do monthly blood work to make sure my NK cells are playing nice but they feel I am through the woods now.

So I might really be pregnant and there is definitely something growing in there. It is amazing to me that there will be enough room for a baby to fully grow in there. It's also amazing to watch Opossum flip and turn and wiggle around. I did rent a doppler and I have been able to find the heartbeat each time. That has made me a lot less anxious.

**I think only baby opossums are cute, grown up ones kind of freak me out**

doppler

We were able to hear the heartbeat with a Doppler yesterday. My first non vaginal scan. The nurse, my mom and me were all in tears and my sweet sweet nurse Tracy said the most beautiful words "Happy Mothers Day".

My OB Dr. T came in next to see me and tell me it was time to plug into the regular pregnancy program. I asked him about how he saw my level of risk and he said once we are fully out of the first trimester he felt my risk level goes down, but I'm still high risk b/c of my age and potentially b/c of my cervix. I asked about a cerclage and what he thought. He said we have no reason to think your cervix will fail. I said yeah but I have never carried this far either. He said True, we will monitor and if it seems necessary 18 weeks is when they would do a cerclage. I asked about 16 weeks and he said lets just monitor. In the end he said "You still haven't bought into this, have you?.. that's ok some moms can't until they have that baby in their arms." I really don't know when I might feel more confident.

He also told me not to run out and buy a Doppler, that I could come in and hear the heartbeat anytime I started to feel nervous.

I don't think they want me there everyday so I am considering maybe renting one. Any suggestions?

Next week I fly to Chicago for my last infusion (hopefully). Dr. C says my blood work looks great, but she doesn't want to take any risks with me. I agree. Then on the 23rd I will have my first OB appt. and the early Down's screening ultrasound all in the same day.

In celebration yesterday I broke down and bought a bigger bra.

maybe a little hope

I had an ultrasound on Monday and I measured 9weeks 2days, heartrate of 174bpm. They showed us the umbilical cord, and tiny hands and feet. It even wiggled around a little. This is more than I have ever seen before and the longest I have ever carried. My OB said it was time for me to get with the regular pregnancy program. I asked for one more scan next week and then I would do what he wants.

Afterwards the thought that maybe we were seeing someone else's baby on the screen crossed my mind. Even though that is stupid because there was a freaking wand in my vayjayjay the whole time, I still thought about it.

I have boob muffin tops coming out of my A cup. I'm afraid to buy a B cup b/c that could jinx things.

So they said they should be able to hear the heart with the doppler next week, but Dr. T promised that if they couldn't get it with the doppler they would give me an ultrasound. So next Tuesday is another hurdle, and hopefully I get through Mother's Day weekend in one piece.