So here we are again, ovulation week, hot sex all week long right.... RPL certainly fucks with your sex life. Because sex=baby=death and destruction by the shithead ute. You try to push those sad memories away and remember a time when sex was sex or even making love.
I'm carrying a OPK stick in my purse, b/c I have to work late and the directions say to test at the same time each day. I'm not sure why I continue to waste money on these bitches, but I do.
Dr. P my RE said repeat last cycle with Femara days 3-7 and Prometrium 3dpo. So off we go. Today is cd 11.
Lately I have thought more and more about what life would be like if we don't have kids. Like I could train for the marathon at the Outer Banks, and we could spend money on traveling and landscaping. I spend a lot of time thinking about the future instead of living the life in front of me. I meant to stop doing that. I think what I want to do is plan with reckless abandon, instead of thinking well I might pregnant so that wouldn't work.
I decided not to visit my brother and his new baby this weekend. I'm not emotionally ready and I should be ovulating. My brother seemed to understand, but I haven't told my mom yet.
About Me
- amylynn
- North Carolina, United States
- I'm a 36yr old, wife, wannabe mom, horticulturalist, halfass knitter, and sometimes runner, searching for my grace
1 comment:
I know what it's like to be stuck in the "what if's"... ~Sending hugs and support~
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