About Me

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North Carolina, United States
I'm a 36yr old, wife, wannabe mom, horticulturalist, halfass knitter, and sometimes runner, searching for my grace

Friday, March 27, 2009

not funny

My brother sent a text picture of his 1 month old baby last night. They had her propped on the couch with a remote on her belly and a beer between her legs. I love my brother and his wife, and I love this baby, but damn dude. My brother is not the most responsible person in the world but I know he will do everything he can for this child. It's just hard to deal with sometimes. They got pg right away with no problems, told everyone after the first BFP. Not to mention I was pg too at that time only to lose it again. So it's a tender place for me. My husband has a harder time with it and the picture pushed him over the edge. He feels my brother is inconsiderate and disrespectful of our situation. I don't think it's that, it's that my brother just doesn't get it. He has no idea the pain we have suffered. I'm supposed to go visit them Easter weekend and meet the baby. These feelings just make me more anxious about it.


Grad3 said...

I am sorry that you are feeling in anxious in place that should provide comfort.

I wish that things were different.

~Big hugs~

Christa said...

I totally see where you are coming from. My father called me a few months ago to tell me about a friend of a friend whom lost her baby at 9 months old, then he went on to say how much harder it would be to lose a baby once it's lived. I couldn't believe he called me to say that. I composed myself and calmly told him, that I personally feel that no matter how long a baby is with us, the loss is horrible and the pain is heartbreaking. My dad is a good man, but simply doesn't get what I've been through. No matter how many times I tell him how horrible it was to have to give birth to our baby whom only developed to 18 weeks and lose two more after that...my story falls on deaf ears. And it's like that with almost everyone I encounter actually...accept women whom have experienced miscarriage. I've learned to look past others ignorance as much as I can...because in the end, those are the people who love me most...their intentions are not to hurt me. They just don't have the tools in their toolbox to help me...it's not their fault. I always try to put myself in their shoes...for example I've never had cancer, so if my dad called an said he had cancer, would I always know what to say and do?...I’d like to think so, but I can't say for sure. So when moments happen where someone says or does something insensitive to me, I try to remember the phrase: Forgive them for they know not what they do. But I have to admit it’s not always easy.

Anonymous said...

Shit like that isn't funny at the best of times.