not supposed to happen

A dear friend of mine recently miscarried. My heart aches for her, although there is nothing I can do. My friends are not supposed to have miscarriages, because I have taken the statistical bullet for all of them. It's bad enough that I have to suffer this, but it kills me to see their suffering. Shit the unfairness of life is so fucking crappy sometimes.

AF came late Friday afternoon, of course after my RE's office closes for the day. I am waiting to hear back from them this morning to find out if I am to follow the same protocol this cycle.

not funny

My brother sent a text picture of his 1 month old baby last night. They had her propped on the couch with a remote on her belly and a beer between her legs. I love my brother and his wife, and I love this baby, but damn dude. My brother is not the most responsible person in the world but I know he will do everything he can for this child. It's just hard to deal with sometimes. They got pg right away with no problems, told everyone after the first BFP. Not to mention I was pg too at that time only to lose it again. So it's a tender place for me. My husband has a harder time with it and the picture pushed him over the edge. He feels my brother is inconsiderate and disrespectful of our situation. I don't think it's that, it's that my brother just doesn't get it. He has no idea the pain we have suffered. I'm supposed to go visit them Easter weekend and meet the baby. These feelings just make me more anxious about it.

stupid peesticks

Five peesticks later all BFN. But no AF either. My ute started cramping and grumbling on Tuesday but nothing came out of it. I stopped taking the Prometrium to see if that would encourage AF to make her presence. I have one peestick left, if no AF by Sunday I will use it. Boobs are slightly tender, but that could be a result of all the progesterone swimming in my blood. Will the prometrium delay my period if I'm not pregnant? And it's raining again.

WTF?

Ok so my progesterone was 30.1 which is good, but so far I have POAS 4x and all of them BFN. It's cd25, 12dpo. So I don't know. Maybe it's too soon to tell. I have 2 more HPT left, so my plan is to wait and test again Thursday morning which will be cd28 15dpo. I hate this, either start my period or get two pink lines damnit.

2ww

I'm in the middle of the two week wait. I had my 21day blood draw today for Progesterone. My RE had me start prometrium on 3dpo. I think I o'd on cd13, so I can test on Sunday cd24, 11dpo right.....

psssst....I'm ovluating

26 days?

I started my period on cd26. If my calculations are correct that means my luteal phase was only 10 days long. So I am on cd5 of this cycle and day 3 of Femara.
Hello sweaty, angry, constipated woman.

Here is my question Internet readers if my luteal phase was only 10 days last time, should I supplement with prometrium this cycle upon ovulation? I have leftover prometrium from pg#6. It's not expired but I wonder if it's still good. My docs have always prescribed prometrium after a BFP confirmed blood test with a progesterone test. My progesterone level usually rides around 18-19 and my RE likes it to be 20 or higher with a pregnancy. My blood test last week was 16. Does Femara make you have a higher progesterone level? I guess I need to research some more on Dr. google.

I know the jury is out in the medical world as to whether supplemental progesterone is helpful. However it's one more thing I have a little control over.. and you know how much I love control. In fact that was one of my first tape's Janet Jackson 'Control'.

My lovely nurse Mia said I could come in for an u/s around ovulation since the OPK's are liars and whores. That way we could see if I produced any good follicles. Then she said you're having "home intercourse" right? For some reason this makes me laugh. I know she meant you're not doing IUI. but all I could think was as opposed to car intercourse or office intercourse. Tee Hee. My dh did not see the humor but maybe he doesn't get IF humor.