About Me

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North Carolina, United States
I'm a 36yr old, wife, wannabe mom, horticulturalist, halfass knitter, and sometimes runner, searching for my grace

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Let it Begin...

Today is my first day of Fem.ara. My period is kicking my ass with cramps and fucking large clots. Seriously what the hell? So my lovely nurse Mia called yesterday to give me the protocol. Take Fem.ara 5mg, days 3-8. DO NOT GET PREGNANT, get blood drawn on day 21 to see if I o'd. If I did ovulate then next cycle start trying. Sometimes I wonder if Mia reads my chart b/c I always ovulate. Duh, I'm freaking fertile myrtle with a shithead uterus. The Fem.ara is to see if I can ovulate sooner. Why do you need to ovulate sooner AmyLynn? I don't know. It really doesn't seem to effect my ability to conceive. But maybe ovulating sooner will help me make a better lining.

I had a big fight with my DH last night about all this shit. He was raving about having is chromosomes tested b/c the hospital bill was $1200 for the test. Now that is before the insurance. When my chromosomes were tested two years ago I didn't have to pay anything. So most likely we will have to may the remaining part of his deductible and that's it. He was all I knew there was nothing wrong with me, it was stupid to have that test done. I said we had to rule out any translocations. He said you wouldn't have kept getting pg if there was something wrong with me. Damnit yes I could have. FYI his chromosomes are normal.

I have had countless tests done, he has had one. For the love of Pete get over yourself. Again I admit this must be all my fault. It is my fucked up uterus that is causing the problems. So I ask him do you want to have kids or not? B/C I am not going through this alone. He says yes but asks again why are the doctors saying I need to take these drugs. We have had this conversation at least 3 times. I don't think he listens to me ever. I tell him again. They are treating me empirically they do not know if this will work. I have no known clotting disorders. There are no statistics to tell us anything for someone like me. I am a minority within a minority. There is little research on RPL, let alone unexplained RPL. Statistically eventually I will carry a baby to term, they just don't know how many losses I will suffer first. So if there is a remote possibility that this will help me carry to term I will do it. B/C I cannot take anymore loss. WE cannot take anymore loss.

So this is it, let it begin...


Grad3 said...


It's hard to be in such a small minority.

You really seemed to keep your cool with hubby- which is more than I would've done. Please, he had, what... 4-5 tests tops???? You've had like 15 including some redone. Sometimes I just don't think they even try to get it.

Hang in there--- I will praying VERY loudly for you this cycle!!!

Dan & Hillary and little Russell said...

With these RPL stats (0.5%) probablility, we should be off to Vegas! Like you, we have no answers. Hopeing this month is your month! Could you push to get progesterone as well? It seems to help some women.