About Me

My photo
North Carolina, United States
I'm a 36yr old, wife, wannabe mom, horticulturalist, halfass knitter, and sometimes runner, searching for my grace

Friday, August 8, 2008


So I am still spotting three weeks after the miscarriage. I spoke with my dr. last night and she said it's normal and not to worry. I'm really not worried, just annoyed. For crying out loud, please give me a day without pads or pantyliners.

It's been brutally hot and humid here this week. I've worked more than 10 hours a day everyday this week too. This is my lame excuse for not running at all this week. I signed up for a 10K next month so I really need to get my ass in gear. I haven't run more than 45 minutes in a very long time. And I am much slower than I used to be.

I leave on Monday for my retreat in the mountains. I am excited and nervous. I am excited about being in the mountains and experiencing the quiet. I am a little nervous about exploring my ideas on faith and God. I have been so angry and without faith for so long. I want, I need to have that belief and love back in my life. I hope to come back from this retreat a better person, or at least feel better about myself.

My husband does not understand my need to go, but is trying to be supportive nonetheless.


admin said...

Sorry to hear that things are dragging out so long for you, sweetie. I know that feeling, the constant reminders. It sucks. And ugh, pads in the heat! You are a real trooper.

I hope you have a lovely trip to the mountains and find some true peace and resolution to the hell you have been through this year. As for the husband, I think it is just really hard for them to relate sometimes, especially when they are unaware of how frequently we experience physical reminders. Your doing what is best for you and that is the most important thing.

Here to you coming home feeling refreshed and peaceful.


Meg said...

I am so jealous of your retreat. Hopefully you will take a lot back with you from the experience and hopefully you will be able to post how wonderful it was!

I am really sorry about the spotting. I can relate to feeling like you always have something going on down there. I hope it stops soon for you.