aftermath

I decided to have the D&C, my OB performed the surgery on Friday, she worked me in, so I would not have to wait a long time. One thing about my ob is that she is wonderful, she always remembers who I am, and I have only seen her twice. She has the courtesy to read up on my chart before speaking to me, so I don't have to rehash all my misfortunes. I absolutely love her. For once I feel I have a doctor who actually cares about me. The bad part is that she is not an RE, and so does not feel comfortable prescribing meds for infertility. My RE said we can do more clomid at higher dosage or be aggressive and go with injectibles. I feel like I am on the edge of falling apart. If I didn't have to deal with people on my job I might make it through. We do have a vacation planned for later this week to go to the outer banks for five days. I am looking forward to laying on the beach and reading books while my dh fishes. After discussing my options with my counselor bff Dr. G, I decided I would try again, but if I have another miscarriage I am taking an extended break. She says this gives me a boundary. I love Dr. G. She has been my best friend since 5th grade and just finished her PhD. in counseling. She is so good at giving advice as a counselor and as a friend. So now my question is how agressive do I approach this next cycle. The docs feel this miscarriage had nothing to do with my septum, and was most likely chromosomal. I have had two normal chromosomal miscarriages already though. I am convinced that my problem is a LPD, but no doctor will agree with me. If I take higher dosages of clomid it should help me ovulate sooner in my cycle instead of the cd21 like I usually do. But clomid can cause the uterine lining to be thinner, so would injectibles be a better bet? But then I don't know. My goal is to make it through the next three days without crying at work. wish me luck...

what should I do?

Yesterday I was diagnosed with a missed miscarriage. I was given the options of D&C, natural or drugs to start the process. My initial response was I do not want any more surgeries on my ute (I've had 2 d&c's and a septum resection) so I want it to happen naturally. My RE said that was fine whatever I wanted, but if I didn't start bleeding in two weeks, I needed to come in for a D&C. I spoke with my ob/gyn this morning to get her opinion as to what I should do. She feels I should have the d&C and start trying again immediately because my chances of carrying a successful pregnancy are best right now after my septum resection. She said another d&c would not cause problems. She really feels this is my best window of opportunity and the longer I wait after my surgery the larger the chances for scar tissue to build up in my ute. Emotionally I am not sure I can do this again. This will be my 5th miscarriage in less than three years. Do I take the chance and try again, or do I take a break and try to piece my life back together. I don't want to look back and feel like I missed my opportunity but I also don't want to wreck myself and my marriage more than I already have. I don't know what to do.

Empty

An empty yolk sac is all we saw yesterday.... It is very small and does not look promising. Unless a miracle happens, it looks like this will be m/c # 5. I cannot do this anymore, this is killing me, my husband and my marriage.