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North Carolina, United States
I'm a 36yr old, wife, wannabe mom, horticulturalist, halfass knitter, and sometimes runner, searching for my grace

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

what should I do?

Yesterday I was diagnosed with a missed miscarriage. I was given the options of D&C, natural or drugs to start the process. My initial response was I do not want any more surgeries on my ute (I've had 2 d&c's and a septum resection) so I want it to happen naturally. My RE said that was fine whatever I wanted, but if I didn't start bleeding in two weeks, I needed to come in for a D&C. I spoke with my ob/gyn this morning to get her opinion as to what I should do. She feels I should have the d&C and start trying again immediately because my chances of carrying a successful pregnancy are best right now after my septum resection. She said another d&c would not cause problems. She really feels this is my best window of opportunity and the longer I wait after my surgery the larger the chances for scar tissue to build up in my ute. Emotionally I am not sure I can do this again. This will be my 5th miscarriage in less than three years. Do I take the chance and try again, or do I take a break and try to piece my life back together. I don't want to look back and feel like I missed my opportunity but I also don't want to wreck myself and my marriage more than I already have. I don't know what to do.

13 comments:

JJ said...

Definitely a delicate question--and I dont have much assvice--just follow your heart--it sounds like you do trust your ob/gyn.
Thinking of you...

Meg said...

I am so so sorry.

I cannot tell you what to do of course but I do want you to know that I can see why you are in this predicament.

What do you think of taking Misoprostol to induce the miscarriage? If you have ANY questions on it, I have taken it twice now. I have also had two D&C procedures and a SU resection.

Do you want the tissue tested? If so, I would go for the D&C.

Oh I just hate that I even have to comment on this for you. This is just wrong and I am so sorry.

Hang in there.

admin said...

Oh, sweetie. I am so sorry - first about the loss, but also over your struggle to figure out what to do. I would agree with Meg - if you want the tissue tested, have the D&C. I would also add that incopetent cervix is probably the biggest risk of multiple forced dialations. But those of us who *had* septums are already at risk for this. So when you do have a successful pregnancy, you will need to have the cervix monitored anyhow.

I think taking your relationship into consideration is also very inportant. Does your DH have an opinion on surgery or not? Five losses would put a strain on even the very strongest of relationships. Perhaps you might consider doing some counciing together?

I am thinking about you. You'll make the decision that is best for you. And you will have the support of the ladies here.
{{{hugs}}}

Newt said...

I don't have any answers, but I wanted to stop by and say how very sorry I am for your loss. My heart breaks for you--you will be in my thoughts.

G said...

Oh I am so, so sorry hun.

I agree with the others, if you want it tested, go for the d&c and IC is already going to need to be monitored for you. I would trust what my RE said over the OB though, but then I am sour that way.

My thoughts are with you, I am so sorry.

Duck said...

Sorry I have absolutely no assvice, because I have never even been pregnant but, I just wanted to stop by and wish you all the best with the big decisions.

Katie said...

No assvice. After my fifth loss, I didn't think I could ever put myself up for hurt again.

I just am so sorry for your loss and wish you peace.

Michell said...

I'm so sorry. I don't have any answers really but wanted to say my thoughts are with you at this time.

Annie said...

I'm so sorry :( I wouldn't know what to do either, after 3 losses I am scared of what it would do to me to go through another one. I am sorry that you have to go through this yeat again.

scarredbellybutton said...

I am so sorry.

scarredbellybutton said...

I am so very sorry.

BB and MTB said...

I just wanted to say that I am sorry for your loss. When I miscarried, there were no words that made me feel better, but a kind friend who had also struggled with his wife to become parents said, "There is no fairness to the situation. There is only time." I hope you find comfort soon.

Miss Conception said...

I am so very sorry for your losses. I wish I could offer you some advice, but I am about to go through my third loss in less than five months and have no idea which way to go either. I hate this.