17 weeks

My cervix is stable. The bad news is weekly monitoring. The good news is weekly monitoring means weekly ultrasounds. So at least I get to see the baby all the time. I've been having what I call low grade cramps, or heaviness feeling down low in my pelvis. But when they checked my cervix today it was still closed and 2.5 cm long. Dr. T says he doesn't want to do a cerclage unless it gets less than 1.5cm. So we just keep watching and checking. Next week is the big anatomy scan but DH is out of town on a fire and we are not sure if he will be back yet, so I may ask them to reschedule the big scan for the following week and just do my cervix/heartbeat check next week. I really want DH to be there for the anatomy scan and so does he. Dr. T still has me on pelvic rest and light duty, he said if I remain stable he will add a little more activity each week. Which is good. I hate not exercising. For me exercise is a stress reliever. The baby's heart rate was a little slower this week, but the sonographer assured me that was normal because today she was just chillin' in there not doing the regular flips and kicks.

So that's it really. I'm trying to take it easy and rest as much as I can. I feel lazy but it's for a good cause. I can't believe we've made it this far. I thank God everyday and pray that we can bring this baby home in 5 months.

There has been sad news for my RPL sisters in the blogosphere the last few weeks it breaks my heart. I feel their pain as if it were my own.

Cervical Competency

So my cervix did not pass the competency test but it didn't fail either. Currently my cervix is measuring 2.5 cm. Anything greater than 2.5 is good and normal, anything less than 1.5 is bad. So I am in the gray zone. Dr. T wants to monitor weekly and I am on pelvic rest and light duty for the time being. It's a little frightening. Maybe more than a little. At least I get weekly ultrasounds for a little while. I had always hoped that stepping into the 2nd trimester would bring relief from the anxiety and fear, but not so much. The good news is that I am being closely monitored and if a cerclage is needed they have more to work with and it won't be an emergency situation. I'm 16 weeks today. Dr. T said if a cerclage is needed he wants to do it by 19 weeks. Everything else looks good, blood pressure is 114/70 and baby heartbeat is 154bpm. Development looks normal for this stage. I've gained 5 pounds total. I feel fine, more tired than anything but otherwise good. I told a few more of my work colleagues at our Professional Assoc. State meeting. So that was nice.

I'm trying to keep the positive things flowing and not let this cervix thing overwhelm me. It's not so easy. Just keep praying.

Update

Toxo results are in and my titer was stable. This means I have been exposed to Toxoplasmosis before and carry the antibodies but I am not currently infected. Whew! So I can check that worry off my list and go on to worry more about my cervix.

nothing of note

So everyone keeps asking me "How are you feeling?". My response is always fine... Am I supposed to feel something else? It puzzles me that people want to know the daily ins and outs of this pregnancy. My friend M said it's just that women want to commiserate with you and share their experience. I find it totally overwhelming, but I'm trying to adapt. So I feel fine. In the last week I have suddenly popped. I don't see a bump but my pooch is bigger and rounder. My pants don't fit. I broke down and ordered some maternity pants and a top yesterday. Most of my fat clothes fit so it's not terrible. I worked so hard to lose those 25lbs of infertility and it looks like it will come back, but this time it's more than worth it. I haven't had any major pains or bleeding. I did have some sharp stabby pains in my left side that seemed ovary related to me, but after consulting with the nurse and Dr. Google it seems they were round ligament pains. I did rent a doppler and I heart my doppler. Every night before I go to bed I listen first to my heartbeat and then the baby's. It is so reassuring.

I had my blood work done on Monday for the Toxoplasmosis retest. The results should be back tomorrow. Fingers crossed it comes back negative. I have my next scan a week from Friday for cervix check.

DH and I have been on self imposed pelvic rest since my BFP and it's getting old. I had a very vivid dream the other night. Can women have wet dreams? I think I had one. So I'd like to get frisky again. I know it's safe but RPL warps your brain.

Slowly I am telling people about the baby. It's hard for me to do, but I'm getting better at it. Our due date is Dec. 3rd.

Also I am lovin' some P.M.Dawn right now. Patient Eyes, wow takes me back to high school and making mix tapes with my best girls.