Thursday, July 1, 2010
Still in Hell
This is worse than a miscarriage I think. I hate being in limbo. My beta today was 126. This is obviously not a viable pregnancy. It is not obvious if it is ectopic yet. My vein rolled this morning and that hurts like a mother fucker. I hate the ob/gyn office full of glowing preggo women, and then there is me with my scarlet letter screaming INFERTILE or worse "habitual aborter" to scare the others. I fall apart and have panic attacks each time I am there. I'm waiting for Dr. T to call me back and tell me if I can stop the lovenox, and progesterone. I want to know how many beta's does it take for them to decide if I need the methotrexate shot. I don't know how much more my veins can take.