doctor hopping

I had to go to my OB/Gyn for a pap smear last week. This fact is annoying in itself, because if there was a problem with my cervix wouldn't the plethora of people looking inside me these last six months have noticed? But alas I must have one in order to move forward with Dr. P's baby plan. Of course an RE won't do a pap god forbid. You must go to the Ob/gyn. So I go. Dr. F blew in as usual popped me in the stirrups to get this over with. She did not mention the last miscarriage or anything. She says your cervix is all inflamed, have you had any procedures? I said no, no procedures. I had a manual exam two weeks ago by my RE.

Dr F: Why did he do that?
Me: So we would be able to proceed with, our plan of Femara when I want to try again, w/o my having to drive 80 miles to see him.
Dr F: Are you sure you didn't have any procedures?
Me: Yes, what is wrong?
Dr. F: well I can't do your pap, you will have to come back in 4-6 weeks.
Me: WTF?
She leaves and I get dressed, confused as to what is going on, a nurse whisks back in a gives me a Rx for an antibiotic for cervicitis.

In addition to this I had a super bad cough for two weeks, I was hoping Dr. F would give a listen to my chest, but that was out of the question. So I drove to an urgent care clinic, where they listened to me breathe, freaked out called for chest x-rays. Luckily no pneumonia but a wicked upper respiratory infection, so now I have a Rx for a Z-pac and cough medicine. I decide not to fill the Rx from Dr. F b/c it seems like a Z-pac would take care of any other bacteria laying around in my body.

Next day there is a message on my phone from the nurse at Dr. F's office, saying they think they found something of mine, please call back. I search my purse and can't figure out what I could have possibly left. When I call back I am put on hold for 20 minutes, finally nurse comes on and says we found a CD that says "baby's first pictures" on it.

ME: silence... then it's not mine, I don't have any children, I have had six miscarriages.

Nurse: well it looks like it's ultrasound pictures

ME: almost in tears, it's probably from my last m/c I told the dr. I didn't want the cd.

Nurse: Oh well sorry I bothered you.

ME: Umm well I have a question, Dr. F gave me Rx for cervicitis yesterday but I also have an Upper Respiratory Infection and the Dr. gave my an Rx for a Z-pac. Do I still need to take the other one, b/c that seems like an awful lot of antibiotics to take at one time?

Nurse: You will have to ask your pharmacist about that

Is it just me Internet? Or is this cruel and unusual punishment? I mean damn how hard is it to look at my fucking file and realize that if that CD is mine, the baby is dead? These are the same people who just stared at me when I was sobbing after I sat in the ultrasound room alone with the lifeless scan of my 8 week fetus for 30 minutes. Then they dicked around with my file, couldn't figure out that I had already spoken to a doctor. I just wanted to leave and here they are saying no she can't leave until talks with the doctor. To which I reply, I don't understand I just finished speaking with her. I just want to get out of here.

So this is the last straw and now I am looking for a new Ob/Gyn again. This will be my 6th Ob/gyn since this all began. I wonder if I am expecting to much for my medical care. I mean I don't expect to be recognized as soon as I walk in, but at least read my file first. I get better customer service from my Vet than my Ob. At least he remembers my name.

Dr. P (RE) said that next I get pg I would stay with him through the first trimester and then I would need an OB and a perinatologist or MFM. Can I get one of those wrapped up in one person?

simmering

Sometimes the ignorance and blatant prejudices of my work place make me want to SCREAM!!! I realize that I live in a small town in the South and liberalism is not the norm, however for people who are so eager to tout their religion there seems to be a lot of hate out there. I work for an organization that has a disclaimer on every piece of paper about how we are an equal employment opportunity organization and we do not discriminate on race, sex, religion, or sexual preference. But that is a load of crap, b/c if your sexual preference is not the majority you better not be out with it when applying for a job. A qualified candidate will not be interviewed b/c it is known he is gay. Now no one has asked him that out right nor was it indicated on his application. He is known as a "friend" of a client who comes in regularly who is openly gay. What makes me more angry is that we are interviewing a less qualified candidate over this guy. Now my boss does not say we are not interviewing him b/c he is gay, but it's because of his experience. Excuse me how can a man with a Masters and 20 years experience not be more qualified than a man who hasn't even finished his BS yet and is only 22. WTF? I swear if I ever have a child I will raise him or her to be open minded and accepting if it kills me. I will have an uphill battle with the crap that goes on in the schools and my crazy in-laws. I am so mad.

candy

I am fully addicted to the Twilight saga by Stephanie Myers. Its all about teenagers and vampires and werewolves. It's like candy for my brain, no nutritional value but I can't stop reading it. I am a huge Buffy fan, and also read all of the Ann Rice books. I know these books are supposed to be "young adult" but its so yummy.

My 10K race two weeks ago, sucked a big one, but I finished and I didn't have to walk. My 1/2 marathon is one month from today and I have a lot of training to do. I joined a gym in the town where I work. I had a free personal trainer session this morning at 6:30. It was early but it was good. I may not be able to move my arms by the end of the day but it felt good to lift. I would like to be in good marathon shape for the Myrtle Beach Marathon in Feb.

On the infertility front, I still taking my BCP. I go to my RE next week for follow up to make sure no cysts are forming. I am enjoying this time off from TTC. I am really enjoying wine and coffee too. Another round of babies have been born in my circle. My brother found out they are having a girl. I am excited for them, but it still hurts. My SIL due date was moved back to Feb. 25 one week after I was due. Right now my plan is to start TTC after her baby is born. But who knows I may break before then. I mean I haven't POAS in 3 months. The HPT industry is probably wondering whats going on.