About Me
- amylynn
- North Carolina, United States
- I'm a 36yr old, wife, wannabe mom, horticulturalist, halfass knitter, and sometimes runner, searching for my grace
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
#7
The ultrasound on Monday showed no heartbeat. My baby died sometime on Friday or Saturday. I will have a d&c on Friday. Fucking deja vu all over again. Fool me once shame on you, fool me 7 times, for fuck's sake what's wrong with me? How many times can a person be kicked down before they decide they don't want to get up anymore? I can't do this anymore. I'm not sure where we will go from here, but I will be out of Internet land for awhile. I'm in the public library and the pregnant librarian is discussing how she will decorate her nursery. I need to get out of here.
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43 comments:
I'm so sorry honey. Please, take care of yourself.
My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry. We've had seven total m/c's as well. If it weren't for the Endometrin and Lovenox, I don't think we'd be carrying this pregnancy.
Again, I am so, so sorry..
I'm indescribably sorry to hear this. I hope you are able to find the distance and support that you need in the coming weeks and months. And I hope they can help you fix this thing.
I am just so, so sorry...and I know thats not even enough. Please, please let me know if I can come take you out for coffee, whatever you need...
Thinking of you...
I am sending you virtual hugs .. lots of them. I am very sorry for your loss
I am a friend of JJ's. Just wanted to send you a virtual hug. I am so sorry.
I am so very, very sorry. I've been in your shoes and it SUCKS! {{{Hugs}}} and prayers coming to you.
I am so terribly sorry to hear this. My heart aches for you. Please be good to yourself and do whatever you need to do to get through.
AmyLynn- I don't know you, but I'm a fellow NC Blogger, and I wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you now, and wishing you some peace and some comfort. I am just so sorry that you are having to endure this. Infertility sucks. It's just so unfair and I am so sorry that you are stuck in this battle.
I am utterly gutted for you and can genuinely say I know exactly how you feel as I am currently awaiting the demise of my seventh pregnancy as I write this. The ultrasound at 7w4d showed CRL of 6w1d and heart rate of 90. We go back for the scan that tells us it is dead next Thursday, and I will follow you shortly to the land of D&C.
I do know also how you feel about getting your hopes up this many times, thinking this time might be different, thinking you are in with a chance. What can I say? It hurts just as much all over again.
I am so incredibly sad for you right now. I wish I had your email so I could be sure you would read this soon. I am sending you as much love and strength as I can muster. xxxx
Here from NC Bloggers. I wanted to tell you that you are in my thoughts. And I am so very sorry for you loss.
Here from LFCA. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending some *hugs* your way.
I'm so sorry. I'll keep you in my prayers.
I'm here from LFCA. I am so terribly sorry to hear of your loss. Sending prayers for you and your husband.
Here from LFCA. I wish I had something to say besides I'm so so SOOO sorry and that this is beyond unfair. I'll keep you in my thoughts
From LFCA...
I am so very sorry. We have lost three babies to early miscarriage and three babies due to 2nd trimester prematurity. It breaks my heart to know how the grief tears through you. Sending hugs and prayers.
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you find some peace and refuge and support.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish there were something more I could do to make you feel better.
I'm so very sorry, I can't even begin to imagine how hard this must be for you.
I'm so, so sorry.
Oh, no. I'm so sorry to read this. Please know that you're in my thoughts. After going through 6 losses, I'm terrified of having to face that again. My heart truly goes out to you.
I hope you'll take the time that you need to heal and don't let anyone try to rush you through it.
Praying for comfort and peace.
I am very sorry for your loss.
I am so very very sorry. Take care of yourself.
LFCA
Fuck. I'm so sorry.
I am so incredibly sorry. I do not have the right words to help you through this and only you know what you will need. A break from it sounds like a good start. I will be thinking of you and sending you strength.
That sucks beyond fucking belief.
There are no words. I wish I was there to hug you, give you all the chocolate and food you wanted, and sit there while not talking so the silence wasn't so deafening.
It isn't right and it's just not fair. Sending you the ~biggest, warmest, most supportive hugs~ I can offer...
I am so sorry. Thinking of you, and just generally mad at the universe on your behalf.
I am so sorry. ((hugs))
much love. many hugs. and I wish I knew the answer.
I am truly sorry - I know how frustrating and hard recurrent pregnancy can be.
Sending you wishes for better things to come.
here from LFCA
I am so sorry for this terrible loss.
Here from LFCA... Sending vibes of peace your way. I'm so genuinely sorry for your loss.
Here from LFCA, and am just so sorry for your loss, for all your losses.
Here from LFCA.
I am so so so sorry. I hate that this happened. No, you're not a fool to have tried again. There is no shame on you. It's just fucked up. Its not your fault in any way.
***hugs***
You are in my thoughts.
I'm sorry. I'm just so damn sorry.
here from LFCA
I am so, so sorry. ((HUGS))
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
This is cosmically junked out! Am so very sorry.
My words cannot take away your pain, but I just hope that there is some deliverance, and that God gets his act together.
So sorry.
My heart is feeling some of your pain. If I could take some FOR you, I would. I'm so sorry. So very sorry.
(from L&F)
This is awful. I am so so sorry. :(
I can't imagine how awful you must feel. I'm so sorry.
(((hugs))) (from LFCA)
I am sorry for your loss.
Here from LFCA...
I am so terribly sorry. Take care of yourself; the Internet will be here waiting when you decide you're ready.
Sigh. I wish there was something I could say that would make you feel better.
((HUG))
Jem
http://ambivalentwomb.blogspot.com/
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