Big Baby

Growing up I was not much of a doll girl. I liked to play make believe with my stuffed animals and run around outside always. I did have one doll that I did love. I called her Big Baby. She was supposed to be the size of a newborn or a little bigger I believe. To a 2 year old that is a big baby. Big Baby had a cloth body and plastic arms and legs with a big plastic head and blinking eyes. I let Big Baby's hair go to blonde dreds, because like me, Big Baby did not care for people combing her knotty hair out. I spent most of my early years with short homemade haircuts because of my refusal to let anyone comb my hair. Naturally curly hair makes for lots of tangles and knots, and one stubborn little girl. Also I rarely dressed Big Baby so she was naked most of the time and dirty because I took outside with me. Big Baby is at my mom's house now, because she couldn't bare to get rid of her.

Yesterday I had my weekly doctor appointment. Cervix is still stable and another negative fFN test. We had a growth scan, which was a surprise to me since I thought we were just doing cervical length. Faith is measuring 4lbs! 90th percentile, one whole week ahead of schedule. My doctor said "Big Baby". We are just shy of 31 weeks. 4lbs sounds so big to me, but good if she comes early we should be all right. If we go to term God help my vagina.

All in all a good appointment, the crib came yesterday so my baby won't be sleeping in a drawer. I am more than ready to be done with bed rest. Ten weeks completed five more to go.

Patience

Oh my hell people! I am going to go bat shit crazy on my MIL any minute now. How one person can annoy the everlovin' crap out of me I do not know. Right now she is tearing my living room apart while she "cleans". I do not claim to be the best housekeeper in the world, not to mention I have been on fucking bedrest for 9 weeks now. I do not need a running commentary on how dirty my house is. I appreciate the cleaning but I could do without the judging.

I need a boatload of patience ASAP.

In other bed rest news. The nursery is no where near ready. What we have is a spare bedroom with piles of baby stuff laying all over the place. It will get done when it get's done.

My cervix is holding stable at 1.1cm. Hooray! Dr. T is very pleased that we are making our way into the 30's. Faith is presenting vertex, or head down. She continues to look strong every week. I am shocked that it's finally the third trimester. Now we just have to make it past 32 weeks.

Here's something I need to say and I hate myself for feeling this way. Particularly because I have fought so hard to be and stay pregnant and I always wanted to punch people who bitch about being pregnant....but I do not enjoy being pregnant....

I know, I should be flogged. I won't list my complaints but I do not have a glow, and this has not been some of the best months of my life.

I am really looking forward to having Faith on the outside and getting my body back to myself, but I am more than willing to wait 6-8 more weeks. I feel like I am running a marathon and I'm at the 20mile mark. Holy shit I've run 20 miles and I feel like ass. Fuck there is 6.2 more miles to go. Hopefully the fuck yeah this is awesome feeling I had with 2 miles left to go will come to me in a few weeks. Then when it's over I will say I totally want to do another one. Until then I feel like I will be slogging out these last few miles.

HOME

My cervix measured 1.1cm on Tuesday, and it's still closed. Faith measured 2lbs 13oz and looked super on the ultrasound. Yesterday we had another negative FFN test. So they discharged me from the hospital and I am back home on bed rest. We are working a schedule so that I am not home alone while DH is at work. That way we can get to the hospital as fast as possible and not have to wait for DH to get home first. This means my in laws are here. A true test of my patience that is for sure (Fox News all day, and incessant judging of our pantry and bathroom supplies. My house will never meet MIL standards) And so it goes.

I'm still having contractions but no more or more intense than they were in the hospital so I guess that means we're stable. I'm glad to be home, but miss the security of the hospital nurses and seeing my OB everyday. That's all I miss though.
29 weeks on Saturday.